Monday Morning Blues

Hi,

Today, i was blue returning to work.
You see, I'm kind of a news junkie. News is my drug of choice. Cocaine, nicotene or alcohol - they're not for me.

Oh but give me news, glorious news.

It was with great delight that I sat in my office, transfixed at webcasts of der bertie announcing his exit from political leadership.
I trawled the net, looking for outside coverage of the man's fall from power.
I went to online editions of the Washington Post, New York Times, etc as well as Reuters and the associated press (AP).
I was over the moon about what I saw.
Headlines appeared in front of me saying things like "Irish PM quits amid sleaze allegations" and "Ahern is forced out over financial controversy"
Now, I think that sleaze may be a bit wide of the mark but my delight stemmed from the fact that Ahern was being written about abroad as he would have prayed he would not have been.

Bertie has a notion in his head that he is an internationally great statesman. He believes that he holds some sway over the likes of the USA, UK, Germany, France and so forth. That is why he brings a bowl of shamrock to the White House with a stupid grin on his powdered face. It is why he wore a hideous suit that even I know was wrong and I have the fashion sense of a hobo.
It was wonderful to see that the foreign press swooped down upon his hideous lies and found him out for what he is - a criminal who should be imprisoned for what he has done to this country.

Now, I don't believe in writing epitaphs for criminals but I will be sure to write one hell of a post in May when the tribunal uncovers a whopper of a lodgment in the name of our fuhrer.
As for Brian Cowen? I reserve judgement. I would like to see how he handles the impending recession before I proclaim him to be a great and wonderful leader or conversely hang him out to dry before he has a chance to prove himself.
What I will say is that Enda has his work cut out in dealing with a far more abrupt and sharp man who is not illiterate or stutters like a drunk. And for a man who has all the charisma of a cockroach, that can't be good
bye

Bertie's sentimental schmuck

Hi,
It was noteworthy that Bertie yesterday launched another broadside attack on the Mahon tribunal.
Bertie is now safe in the knowledge that his political career may no longer be damaged as it is effectively over.
However, not content with this, Bertie delivered an attack on the tribunal's awful treatment of his former secretary Gráinne Carruth. Yes, you remember her. The girl who was paid 60 odd pounds a week to do his dirty work.
Bertie described the treatment of said secretary as low life stuff. not as low life as Bertie himself mind.
Bertie once again went for LCD TV. That's lowest common denominator, in case anyone is thinking I'm about to get in the debate on LCD vs Plasma. This is neither the time or the place.
Not content with thanking people for sending him mass cards at the time of his mother's death during his emotional speech on Wednesday, Bertie spoke of the awful treatment of this woman who had three children and was made to come back to the tribunal on Holy Thursday of all days.

Now this crap might wash with some of you but not with me. Is this the same man who left her out to dry during Easter week? Is this the same man who paid a young woman £66 a week when she probably needed the money? Is this the same man who caused Gráinne to be at the tribunal in the first place because he told lies? You bet ya it is! The same crooked criminal who did all these things is now being hypocritical enough to come out and go on the attack to defend her.
Too little and certainly too late.

Oh, and dearest Enda, you moron. Wednesday proved once and for all how poor a politician this man is.
I am convinced that Enda probably spent the last three weeks organising a great speech to attack Bertie with when they entered the Dáil on Wednesday.
Unfortunately for Enda, an illiterate snake out throught him and resigned. Unfortunately again for Enda, he did not have a few weeks to think of a response. Instead, Enda looked like a rabbit caught in some awfully big headlights.
Enda then asked for a general election so Fianna Fáil could get a new mandate. Enda, my good man, you'd still manage to screw that up to provide them with victory. Although my ballot paper would provide a vote for neither party and it will never again for that matter, there are thousands of idiots that are just waiting for guidance from whoever provides it. Fine Gael don't do that. For anyone.

I also notice today that good old Bev has been reinstated to the grand party. It seems that when one crook goes another must take their place. Mayo must be so proud of having Beverly back. She is a wonderful politician who is married to another criminal proving there is honour among thieves. The party clearly thrives on corrupt people. Obviously with the quota of corruption being unfilled, room was made for one more criminal. Welcome back Bev, Junior ministry anyone? Perhaps in the dept of finance?
Good Day to you all

Why get rid of an innocent man?

Today, Bertie Ahern announced his retirement as Taoiseach and leader of the Fianna Fáil party.
This was done despite my post a few days ago, which showed various reasons why Bertie is the greatest leader this country, if not the world, has ever had.
Bertie appeared in front of TV cameras with his usual teary-eyed demeanour for when he has to prey on the emotions of idiots.
He threw in the obligatory 'voice breaking I'm on the verge of crying' bit as well for good measure.
He patted himself on the back for all his great achievements in Ireland since he was born.
All in all, he made the whole world sit up and listen to his moronic protestations of his innocence of any crime.
Let's be clear here. Bertie is a CRIMINAL.
He did not resign because he was thinking about it for a while but rather because he his position was untenable.
Bertie Ahern must go back to the tribunal in May and then we will see the greatest bombshell the tribunal uncovers thus far.
Bertie has left now because he was pushed by senior figures in the party who know that if he was still Taoiseach at this time, he would collapse the government causing another general election to be necessary.
Bertie may yet spend time in prison for what he has done. £350,000 is the tip of the iceberg as far as payments are concerned, believe me.
Bertie will be dragged through the gutter before this is done and Fianna Fáil didn't want to go along for the ride with him.
It was the senior figures in the party who also told Gormless and Harney to come out against the Taoiseach, further forcing his hand.
Believe me, this will all become clearer in the coming months.
Stay with me on this one.
Don't cry for your Taoiseach's demise because you'll feel like a fool when you find out what he has done.
Ranter

Bertie - an innocent man

Leave poor Bertie alone,
the man has done nothing but great things for this country.
he single-handedly brought peace to this island, gave us some years of boom and also was responsible for the hot dry summers of 2006 and I think 1999 also.
The man has done more for this country than DeValera, Lemass, Parnell, Pearse and Tone put together.
He is the greatest leader that ever lived and we should treat him accordingly.
Just take a look at all the great things he has overseen as leader of this great country:
Our health system is a monument to greatness. It is a wonderfully run system where every single person in this country is guaranteed a standard of healthcare bettered only by 70 other countries including rich countries like Cuba.
Our public transport system is now the envy of the world thanks to our Taoiseach. Several buses and trains are in operation now, many with air conditioning and capable of travelling at medium speeds without engines exploding. Our trains are a wonderful service, leaving out that you may have to travel 100km in the wrong direction to get a train.
Our roads: Our 100km of motorway are first rate and our primary and secondary roads are also excellent when you take the time to slow down and avoid the swimming pools kindly built into the roads by county councils.
Our broadband network is among the best in the world. Here i am typing away at record speed on a modem capable of whopping 56k speeds. It's running at 36 at the moment but that's only because there are two people using internet at the minute. Fair enough, if I was in a big town I'd have 2MB. Who needs that 10mb stuff they have in England and France anyway?
Our Education system has gone from teaching silly things like maths, English and Irish to teaching kids about important things like their feelings and sex education. Now kids will be able to go safely into the world of work knowing that their feelings will help them diagnose hyperglycaemia in a patient that is sitting in front of them when they become doctors.
Also, the new Leaving Certificate Applied (LCA) programme has ensured the country of many genius graduates leaving our schools and becoming involved in many worthwhile jobs such as government artists (drawing dole).

Anyway, here I have only listed a few of the great man's achievements. Some other day I will go through in detail, how Bertie gave away a load of gas and oil off our coast so that we wouldn't have to be hindered by the refining process and then having to sell it off for huge profit so that Ireland would be richer than Saudi Arabia.

A great and innocent man - Leave him alone
Good day to you all.

St Patrick's Day - Irish Style

In Chicago, They dye the river green to celebrate St Patrick's Day. In Ireland, the Liffey runs murky grey on "Paddy's Day".
Ireland needs to look at itself very hard after yet another disgraceful display of drunken antics for all the tourists to see.
No longer is mass well attended with a sprig of shamrock or a St Patrick's day ribbon pinned on a good suit or jumper.
No, we have replaced this with giant novelty green leprechaun hats and inflatable shamrocks to be adorned on puke stained t-shirts and tops.
Throughout the world, St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in a dignified manner by ex-pats and natives of these countries alike. Not so in this festering cess pool of sin that we now call home.
The Celtic Tiger has made us different, you see We may have gained some wealth (that too is debatable when we see recession hit us like a ten tonne truck)
The people in ireland are indisputably less friendly than we used to be. We have become monstrous creatures capable of harming each other on dink fuelled binges of violence.
we do not need a reason any longer to lash out.
Take Finglas on Monday.
I can't imagine this happening in the 1980s without massive public outcry. However, two days later it is already forgotten about.
Not nice at all but some other crime will occur today which will take away from those horrific scenes.
Another question emerges from all this.
What were our brave boys in blue doing?
The disturbances were reported early in the day but PC Plod et al did not arrive til very late on.
You see our cowardly guards are afraid of these little thugs because they might fight back. Yet these same cowards are well able to act like thugs when they know their victims will not fight back.
It was very easy for 250 of our finest to give hidings to men women and children in North Mayo, safe in the knowledge that these people wouldn't fight back.
Cowards and Bullies,
I salute you.
Signing off.
The Ranter

Bertie @ Mahon

Hi,
How many lies exactly does that f**ker have to tell before people believe he is a crooked, lying, sneaky, snivelling little snake? Today, our magnificent one told the Mahon tribunal that £5000 unexplained might have been an inheritance from his father. What? Is this the truth? No. What this is, however, is another attempt to gain the support of the moronic voters who believe that poor Bertie should be left alone. I can just hear the conversations over the tea in living rooms throughout the country - "Oh poor Bertie! How can they expect him to remember anything about that? His father had just died. The poor man was probably still in shock. Why don't those mean people down at the tribunal just leave him alone?" Why indeed. The only thing poor about Bertie is his lack of general speaking and writing abilities. His explanations are poor as well but until citizens are forced to take IQ tests before being allowed to vote, that's not going to affect his chances of being re-elected. It really must be the tip of the iceberg when you don't even remember where small amounts of money like £5000 come from. Just like I didn't remember where that tenner that appeared in my back pocket the other day came from. As it turned out, I was still in a state of semi-consciousness when my wife told me in the morning to get milk on my way home from work (I didn't and to be honest I still don't believe she told me to get it). She's great though. Thing is, if i'm held accountable for €10 I spent on two pints in the evening and will remember why I shouldn't have spent it for years to come, how can Bertie not remember 5k?
God Bless

Wednesday's child

Hi,
Today, my brother had a child. Well he didn't but his wife did. Obviously.
I immediately began thinking to myself about the country that this child is born into. Will the child be akin to a child of the eighties which I am? Will the child not know the glories of the money rich 90s kids who lived a life of richness til the age of 30 while still sponging off their parents?
I also began to wonder if we really are richer today than we were in the 1980s. I got to thinking about the huge levels of debts that we have amassed since we left college. Last month, I paid several bills including phone, credit card, mortgage and car loan. I remembered back to the 1980s and thought about the bills faced by my own parents. They didn't qualify for a credit card. They built a lovely house through scrimping and saving. No mortgage. We didn't have a phone in our house until the mid 1990s and they also paid for their car through scrimping and saving. They also had 9 beautiful children + me, which made 10. Were we any worse off? No. All ten of us went to college. We all worked part time throughout college and gained high honours. We are, all of us, professionals now. And we are all crippled with debt which is going to haunt most of us for a further 30 years. My new nephew is the first niece or nephew in our family. No one has had a child outside of marriage, touch wood, because we were brought up to believe that it wasn't a stable environment to bring children into until we were married and had a proper house to bring a child into. Somehow, I believe that we were richer then. Despite our government telling us that we have never had it so good, I don't believe it to be true. We owe more money now than our parents did then. Our health system, if anything, has deteriorated to an extent that it is pathetic. Our roads are still of a third world standard (and those that aren't are blocked up with traffic) and our literacy and numeracy skills are sliding off the scale. Children are now being taught science in National Schools, even though they don't know how to write properly. The study SPHE before they can do their 12 times tables. They enter secondary school as idiots, and it's getting worse every year. I don't blame the teachers in National Schools or Secondary. I believe they do a great job and the good ones aren't getting paid half enough. They are merely following the curriculum laid down for them by our wonderful government. Why? SPHE is the brainchild of a few government departments to stem the abuse of alcohol, drugs and so forth and also to teach kids about sex. Therefore, this takes all blame away from parents. If my child gets pregnant, becomes a drug addict or an alcoholic, whose fault is it? The teachers. God forbid, there's no way my child would have got involved in these things if the school taught her properly about safe sex and how not to use drugs. Every damn thing that's wrong in society - It should be incorporated into the education system. Meanwhile, the children then come out with 200 points in their leaving certs and it's the teachers who are to blame. Never mind that the number of classes per subject has been cut to allow for this shit to be taught to kids. Parents, take some f**king responsibility for your own kids. Now, I'm not a teacher. I wouldn't dream of doing it because I've seen friends of mine leave the profession in their droves because they have been verbally and physically abused by kids. When their parents come in, they stand up for the kids and by the by there people, schools don't even have the power to expel the kids anymore, even if they thumped the living crap out of a teacher or fellow student.
My nephew is going to grow up in possibly poorer times than the children of the 1990s. I hope to God that he grows up to be well adjusted in this shit state, which Fianna Fáil continue to congratulate themselves for. Thanks very much lads, you've done a great f**king job. And Bertie, you horrible illiterate weasel. Enjoy your time in America preaching to congress. Clearly, they don't mind corrupt f**kers like you. I hope your address is written and read properly. You can always blame your school if isn't